Recently I received a post from my good friend Steven Koski.
I was so tired but not the tired that required more sleep. I traveled to Santa Sabina Retreat Center for a silent retreat. I scheduled spiritual direction with one of the nuns hoping to be given spiritual work that would rejuvenate my tired soul and reinvigorate my passion for my work. Sister Helen had super powers. Just looking into my eyes she could see I was trying to convince the world, and myself, of my competence and worth. Sister Helen looked at me with kind eyes that held no judgment and gently said, “Steven, I know you’ve come to accomplish and achieve spiritual renewal. My suggestion is for you to do absolutely nothing while you are here. Just BE. Walk the grounds. Eat nourishing meals. Drink tea slowly and reverently. Sit in silence until you are silenced. Be present to the Love from which you can never be separated. Know you are loved apart from any work you do. You are loved apart from anything you accomplish. Rest in Love.”Steven Koski 25 July 2020
The well of my own resources was dry. I feared others would find out.
I took time to drink from the waters of Silence and it quenched my relentless thirst of continually needing to prove myself.
I am loved.
You are loved.
We are loved apart from any work that we do.
Here’s the spiritual paradox – The more important and transformative the work you do the more important it is to know you are loved with or without doing that work. There is no more important work today than being used in service for the healing and restoration of this deeply broken world.
We can’t afford to quit.
Do what you can to refill the well.
Let your soul catch up with your body.
This moment needs the fullness and shining light of your beautiful soul.
What a beautiful story!
I am reminded of the Identity Life Triangle I shared back in World Service #5.
In this case, the External Other, Sister Helen, validates and affirms Steve’s WHO I AM and directs him away from his WHAT I DO to focus his attention on the person he is – one who is beloved. We catch a glimpse of the whole schema in action, from Steve’s presenting WHAT I NEED through to the External Other empowering him to revive his own vocation as the affirming, empowering External Other for others in their need.
Big hand to everyone fighting Covid 19 while trying to pivot to a fairer and just society.